He's Always One Step Ahead
by xArurie
Summary: Recollections of past mistakes still weigh heavily on Riku's mind, but he is trying to improve himself. Using words to protect himself from his feelings becoming known by Sora, what will happen when he no longer has access to that shield?
1. Jealousy Clouds His Eyes

**Through the green eyes of jealousy:** __

 _He's always one step ahead of me, and I'm always the one that gives chase.  
He says that he searched for me, but when I was the one to locate him, I had already been replaced. Some say the darkness is frightening, but for me it was my only comfort.  
When you're in the dark, you can't see anything, hear anything, or feel anything.  
To someone always chasing, that is the greatest reprieve they can be offered.  
I know I wasn't always looking at him. He had been taken for granted, like the dull life on the islands I always possessed. There were other worlds out there, and I knew it, but I always wanted him to come with me. I never wanted to be this alone. _

_He says the darkness is a reflection of one's own weakness of heart.  
Then I must truly be the most pitiful and weak creature to ever live, to actively choose such a life.  
I remember surrendering myself to it. Finally, things would be different. I would have the power to do the things I wanted to do. I could go anywhere at all.  
But he didn't take my hand.  
When I awoke, I was all alone. I was given a home by Maleficent, told I was very dear to her. Without him I needed someone, anyone, to validate my usefulness.  
Even through all that I did for her, I did search. I wanted to be with him still, no matter how the darkness made my senses about such frivolous matters dull.  
One night, I finally found him again. He touched me and I felt as though the spark of life I'd been missing was instantly replaced. There was no greater happiness than to see his goofy smile, but then they appeared.  
He had new friends. He wasn't at all lonely like I had been. He was still smiling happily through all of the hardship.  
For the first time I hated him. I wanted him to disappear, but knowing that I could utterly destroy that smile gave me the patience I needed.  
Before he even noticed, I was gone. It's not as though that was any different than usual.  
The Keyblade would have chosen me had I not chosen the darkness, but I am still the rightful wielder. I will show him. I will take away so much from him that even he can't possibly keep smiling that same stupid smile.  
_

_I remember feeling all of those disgusting things. No matter how much I thought I had numbed myself, I still felt it all. Bottles can only hold things for so long before they crumble to dust.  
I thought I had hated him, when really I hated myself. I wasn't strong enough to stand by him in the light, choosing instead the easy way out. I wasn't enough that he wouldn't seek out new friendships.  
Even I know how illogical it is: Sora will make friends no matter where he goes or whom he meets. He's just that sort of person. It is something I love and yet hold in such contempt, even now.  
I can't let it win anymore. I'm not in the same place now that I was then, but I'll be damned if I'm not always fighting it.  
He thinks I conquered the darkness and made it an integral part of myself, only becoming a stronger individual through the struggle. The fool is so naive I can hardly believe it.  
He really believes that I am, and always was, stronger than he is. Someone that never loses his smile is so much more impressive than raw, physical strength.  
Even now I want to be beside him, but that wish seems just as foolish now as it ever did. I've only ever been behind him, trying to catch up. The idiot really thinks there were times when he was running after me. If only he knew._

Riku roused himself from sleep as the dregs of sluggishness dragged down his limbs. With a soft groan he stretched his upper body and then his legs, willing himself to sit up on the bed. After that definite accomplishment, he set the balls of his feet upon the wooden floor.  
 _Why does blood flow have to be such a pain?_ He offhandedly thought in annoyance, trying to stand up with some semblance of balance. No such thing could be found, yet he managed to make it to the window. He had no desire for the sunlight to blind his eyes, but he knew it would help him wake up faster.  
Anything to get out of this dream-like state. In this state of being, dreams seemed as though they could materialize around him as though they had always been occupants of reality, and that terrified Riku more than anything.  
 _I don't want to see things I cannot have._ He willed only the real within his vicinity, refusing to see anything else.

 _I almost miss that stupid blind-fold._ He mocked himself derisively, even though the most it would do was slightly obstruct his vision rather than completely take the gift of sight away.  
He had a better grip on his jealousy over Sora these days, but the darkness in his heart would never let him be entirely free of it.  
Unconsciously he blew at his bangs, being so used to them covering his eyes.  
 _Oh, right. Haircut. That did happen._ It was a welcome change to reflect everything else in his current life, but he still wasn't entirely used to the lack of excess fluff.  
Opening the window by pulling the panes inward, a refreshing gust of air greeted his face. He couldn't help but smile at the pleasant feeling against his skin. Such tranquil feelings wouldn't last long, however, as something hard immediately hit his cheek. His body jerked at the unexpected sensation, and he immediately looked around for what he was sure to be a very large bug. None presented themselves and his gaze eventually fell to the floor between his feet.  
He picked up the foreign object and inspected it closely, completely taken aback by what it was.  
 _It's a goddamn gumi ship part. What in the... Why would..._ His thoughts immediately led to an annoyed sigh and the whispered words, "It's him again."  
"Riku!" The call was right on cue, spilling in from outside the window.  
With a groan he got back on his feet, keeping the gumi piece between his thumb and index finger.  
"Would you stop doing this so early in the morning?!" Riku yelled as he poked his head out of the window, trying to spy the only one stupid enough to pull this kind of stunt on him and live to tell the tale.  
A pause. "Should I do it in the afternoon?" The entirely sincere question came from a head hidden under a tuft of brown spikes.  
Riku used his free hand to smack himself in the face. "No, you idiot. Stop doing this entirely!" His words were seething as he thrust the hand holding the gumi outward. "Who even does this? Do you know how rare these parts are? Also, out of every use of a space ship part, you decide to throw them at my window?!"  
"I had nothing else to throw." Sora's voice sounded apologetic but not enough to give Riku any solace.  
"Then don't throw anything!" He spat the last of his venom out with those words, and sighed as he calmed himself down. "Just... Just knock on the door like a sane person would do." His tone was gentle, as though he were trying to teach a puppy proper manners. The analogy wasn't too far off the mark.  
The figure below him performed a mock salute. "Yes, sir!" The smile never left his face.  
Riku turned away from the window and placed the tiny gumi on his night table. His expression was like that of an emotionless mask. He made his way into the closet in order to get changed and ready for the day ahead. This day would definitely be nothing but quality Sora-time.  
"I must be a goddamned masochist," he sighed as he put a fresh, clean shirt over his head. 


	2. Striving for a Sense of Normalcy

_I know what I feel isn't "normal." I've felt this way for so long I can't remember being anything else. At some point during my childhood with Sora, I just knew that I always wanted to be beside him. It was as if the thought came to me as the most natural thing in the world. He wanted the same, but I don't think it was ever quite alike.  
I've always had to hold myself back around him. I would rather be close to him as a friend than to scare him off with these unnecessary feelings.  
I decided long ago that no matter how much it hurts, I would stay by his side.  
Now as I see him develop interests in others I want nothing more than to sink away again.  
I can't let myself do that once more. What I used to do was dream about a day when I'd wake up and no longer have these thoughts inside my head. Things wouldn't be so difficult then.  
Another dream is that he would reciprocate such thoughts, but that illusion is too thin to sustain itself for long.  
So I just keep chasing, but at a distance. Close enough to feel the warm beams of the sun without being burned by its brilliance. All in all, it's a good if unsatisfactory system._

Sora was standing outside no doubt trying to be as still as possible, but his boundless energy made that an impossible feat. His head perked up upon seeing Riku open his front door and lethargically walk towards him.  
"Good morning, Riku!" His smile was like the sun itself.  
Riku only grunted in reply. "It's too early for any living creature to be as awake as you are."  
Sora cocked his head to the side, getting closer to his friend in order to observe his face from beneath. "You look like you just fell out of bed."  
"I wonder whose fault that is?" Riku was not in the mood for this, and quietly began straightening up his clothes. "There. Better, O' King Sora?" His sarcasm could not have been thicker. Leave it to Sora to be able to breathe in that which would choke most.  
"I don't know..." Sora began walking circles around him in mock inspection and scrutiny.  
"Your hair is definitely too messy." Sora ended up settling for this observation.  
Riku would not lose in a contest of jokes.  
"I cut it off so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. Are you saying I need to brush my hair too?" He smirked as he added the last part. "Maybe I should just shave it all off."  
Sora's face fell. "No! Riku, don't! You would look terrible! ...Also hilarious, but mostly terrible!"  
Riku paused for a moment, genuinely taken aback by Sora's intense reaction.  
"You think I'm serious? We are definitely still worlds apart." Riku left his words hanging in the air as he started walking in a random direction.  
Sora quickly showed up by his side with the eyes of a sad puppy. "No we aren't! We're both right here, in the same world!" His tone was almost pleading.  
Riku looked over his friend quizzically, until he realized that Sora had taken his words literally.  
He smiled and put his hand on Sora's head, ruffling his hair for a few seconds. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Your Majesty." Riku could handle touching as long as it was instigated by himself. That way he was able to think about it in advance in order to prepare. The contact had to be quick, controlled and casual. He wanted to keep his hand lingering there longer, but didn't wish to overstay his welcome.  
Sora puffed out his cheeks at being treated like a kid. "Hey!" His complaints remained unsaid, however, as he resumed smiling.  
 _He really is still such a child._ Riku thought amusingly as his simple actions had already placated the rowdy boy.  
"Anyway," Sora started as he moved his position behind Riku. "You're going the wrong way." He playfully shoved his hands against Riku's wide back. Riku would never quite be used to this, how Sora touched him so nonchalantly without even so much as a warning beforehand. If only he knew what that did to him. Riku's breath hitched, but he kept himself in check while he let the other boy steer him around.  
"So, you had somewhere in mind-Hey, not so hard!" Riku laughed at Sora's imbalanced attempt to get him to move around more quickly.  
"Yeah!" Sora couldn't hide his excitement, paying Riku's complaints no mind. Once they were in the right direction he stopped pushing him. "It's somewhere really amazing. I want to show you!" The child-like wonder never seemed to fade from Sora, and Riku was comforted by that fact. Not all things had changed.  
"Alright, alright," he resigned himself, exaggerating a heavy sigh as if this whole ordeal was a chore. "Lead the way."

A little while later after many jokes were exchanged, Riku was in a better mood. As annoying as Sora could be, there was no one he'd rather be around. Sora managed to bring out the best in him these days. Before, it had always been the worst due to Riku's jealousy. Now that Riku had worked through so many things, he expected nothing from Sora. Accepting the path offered to him was one of warmth and friendship, so he was able to smile from the bottom of his heart. He had given up on the path he had truly wanted, but he never really tried to reach such a path anyway. It was too dangerous. This path was safe, and no one would be hurt. No one but Riku, but he was used to it by now.

They had been walking for quite a while now as the sun had changed several locations in the sky above them. Riku had been thinking this supposed destination had become unreachable, for Sora had most likely gotten them lost.  
"We're here!" Sora exclaimed. Riku glanced around, relieved that they hadn't been lost after all but seeing nothing of note. "Where is "here"?"  
Sora stood triumphantly in front of him with hands on his hips. "Well, we almost didn't make it since you went in the wrong direction, but luckily I was here to guide you!"  
Riku chuckled at his goofy friend. "Yeah, great job not getting us lost on the way, but that still doesn't answer my question."  
Sora nodded as if thinking deeply, but it was more along the lines of dismissing anything that did not mention how amazing his find was. "A forest!"  
Riku waited for more to accompany the obvious, but far too many seconds had passed for that to still be a possibility. "And?"  
Sora opened his eyes in surprise, staring at him. "And... a mountain." This was sure to placate Riku.  
However, never an easy one to please, Riku urged him on. "And?"  
Sora was beginning to get nervous. He didn't want to give away the surprise, but it seemed like Riku needed more of a reason to explore this place rather than it simply being a place that could be explored.  
"And... I thought we could play and explore like we used to." It wasn't really a lie.  
Riku was taken aback by Sora's bluntness about the issue. He had missed the days of simply playing by Sora's side. The lament for such times coming to an end was already on his mind enough, but this made the boy realize that they were never over at all; merely put on hold. His happiness threatened to spill over.  
 _Don't act too excited. It's just a glorified play-date. No, why did I have to use that word!? Ugh._ He was kicking himself for his stupid thoughts. _Just play it cool. Calm. Collected._  
Riku exhaled like the whole idea was nothing but a bother, and added, "You are such an idiot."  
Sora's face fell and he dropped his head. He thought Riku would at least be a little happy, but before he could think on the issue further, a blur of silver streaked across his peripheral vision. He immediately glanced up in order to find out what the mysterious blur was, and lo and behold it was Riku was running right into the forest.  
"Such an idiot for thinking you still stand a chance at beating me at anything!" He was laughing like he hadn't a care in the world.  
Sora's grin returned as he quickly took off after him. "I never said there would be contests!"  
Riku looked back at him with the slyest smirk. "Isn't everything we do a contest?"  
Sora thought deeply for a moment, but the perfect way to disprove such a thing had been carried out that very morning by none other than he himself. "If everything is a contest, what was the window thing for?" Sora was sure he had outsmarted Riku this time.  
Without missing a beat: "Obviously to see how long you can survive if you keep waking me up like that."  
Sora gulped. He sounded so serious. Shaking it off, he had realized that Riku was rapidly approaching the thing he wanted to show him. His face turned into that of complete horror.  
"Riku! Stop!" He pleaded with every fiber of his being.  
Riku only scoffed in reply. "You'll need to do better than that to win a race."  
"No, Riku. I told you this wasn't a contest! Stop! Please!" His alarm rang out with every word, and this was not lost on Riku. Realizing that the other boy was genuinely afraid, he came to a halt.  
Sora stopped once he saw this and bent over, panting as he supported himself with his hands on his knees.  
Riku tentatively approached the out-of-breath boy to provide some form of comfort.  
"Hey." He offered quietly. "It was a joke." Riku sounded as though he had done something terrible.  
Sora smiled despite his current state, and raised his head to see Riku's face downcast in worry.  
He reached his hand out to touch Riku's shoulder in order to catch his attention and keep such sad thoughts out of his mind. Riku jumped in reaction to the unexpected contact.  
"I know you were kidding, especially about that last part." He offered Riku his biggest grin.  
Riku had nothing to offer back except for a hearty laugh. "I was serious about that."  
Sora gulped again. He genuinely could not tell if Riku was joking when it came to this.  
He removed his hand and pointed in the direction they had been running just before that point.  
"Come on. It's just over there." He started to walk.  
Riku looked confused but followed him nonetheless. "What is? I thought you didn't know what was here?"  
Sora looked a little guilty. "I've already been here."  
Pain pricked at Riku's heart as he realized the adventure had been too good to be true.  
 _Of course he had. He knew where the place was. How could I have overlooked such obvious information?_  
Riku kept his silence even though there was anything but inside his mind, the ache gnawing at him as he tried to keep it all in check.  
"Sorry I had to lie a little, but I really wanted to show you what I found." He looked over at the sullen Riku and knew he had taken it the wrong way. "But we can still explore that place! I didn't go down there!"  
Riku's ears perked up. "Down there?"  
Sora's stupid smile returned as he stopped Riku in place, taking a few steps forward.  
He then offered him the sight. "Down there."  
Riku peeked over the edge that was dangerously hidden among the trees.  
A large fall presented itself, the decline littered with rocks and narrow paths one might just be able to grab onto if the poor soul had fallen. At the base of it all was a large pool of water making its home under a nearby waterfall.  
"Doesn't it look like fun?" Sora offered. "When I saw this, I knew I had to show you."  
A smile returned to Riku's features. Sora really had wanted to explore with him like they used to. He wanted to show him this place.  
Tired of hiding how he felt by downplaying his emotions, he simply replied with a contented, "Yeah. It does," and met Sora's stupid grin with his own. 


	3. Silent Watcher

_I had a dream again. Aren't I supposed to eat them? Only his, I suppose. Just another instance where I was his glorified protector. If only those creatures were real. I would want them to make sure to sate themselves on every dream I have. I don't need any of them.  
I don't need any of this. My heart should just give up like my brain has, instead of seeing fragile possibilities that could never come true in my life. I almost want to cut it out, but I've gotten this far. I have to keep telling myself that._

 _Just once, I want him to look at me.  
Am I a fool? Definitely not as big of one as he is, so I think it's okay.  
_

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- _  
_ **Through the blue eyes of**

 _I know he's had a hard time. Though I can be oblivious about most matters, I can see it in his eyes. I've always known him, so I can read his eyes like a pop-up book.  
When I thought I had lost him, my heart faltered. I am only as good as my friends around me. He was my best friend, no one could ever compare to that. I wish he had known that then. Maybe things wouldn't have gone as wrong. I could have grabbed onto his hand and reassured his worries of being replaced. Riku could never be replaced. He calls me an idiot, but by thinking I would ever replace him, I think he's just as much of one.  
Before then, had I reached out enough I could have grabbed his hand tightly. I wouldn't have let the darkness drag him away from me. If the darkness refused to release its grip, then I'd just have to follow his path and lead him to the light without ever letting go. I blame myself a lot, but I know he blames himself too. No matter how much he smiles at me, there is always a tinge of sadness in his eyes.  
Though I may be able to tell how he feels on a simple scale, I can't actually see that deeply. I can't place his every expression, but I can try to piece it together through the ones that I can. He's still burdened with something no matter how much he tries to hide it.  
When I think about it, he's always had some sort of reservation around me. I want to understand what it is and how I can help break down that barrier, but I don't want to frighten him.  
For now, I have decided to do what I do best and just be there for him. I can be by his side again, and this time I won't let anything happen to tear us apart. Little by little, I hope he can open up to me. I will accept him no matter what demons he's intent to hide. I've already seen the worst of him, anyway. I wonder what it could be._

Seeing the boy with moonlight in his hair smile made the whole trip worth it. He loved nothing more than to bring smiles to others, and though Riku smiled often, Sora would like for him to smile even more. As Riku observed the area they were about to climb down to, Sora only watched his face for any hint of change. He could only see excitement in the larger boy's face.  
 _Just like old times._ Sora felt like he had made some sort of progress with his friend, tearing down his walls one by one.  
Riku then looked over at his face with the very same expression. Sora had to look away after a moment of that smile. Something was overwhelming about it, though he couldn't figure out how.  
Riku noticed this and quickly asked, "Are you alright?" His voice was dripping with concern.  
Sora snapped back to reality and returned his gaze. "Yeah. Yeah! Ready to go?" He thought for a moment and then made sure to add, "No racing this time."  
Riku nodded slowly. "Alright, alright. I get it. Safety first." He opened one eye to catch Sora's reaction. "For once you are using sound logic, you know."  
Sora frowned. "I'll have you know that I use logic all the time!"  
Riku chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. Let's go." He started to climb down the path before Sora even had a chance to react.  
"Hey! Don't think I can't tell when you're mocking me-Wait up!" Sora followed suit, trying to be careful yet fast enough to keep up with Riku's descent. "Be careful."  
Riku looked up at him curiously. "You do know that I'm more careful than you ever are, right?" He sighed. "The one who should be taking that advice is you. Don't hurt yourself."  
Foolishly, Sora had let himself take that as a challenge even though it had been anything but.  
"I'll show you you don't need to worry about me getting hurt!" He stopped holding on to the side of the steep hill, instead opting to slide down on his shoes.  
He easily passed by Riku's spot, as his way was a faster one.  
Riku looked very alarmed. "What are you doing?! How is that safe? Sora!"  
"I'm fine, I'm fine. This is fun! Don't worry so much, Riku. You'll get wrinkles." Sora smiled to placate the other boy. So far so good.  
Riku was not placated. "Please, Sora. Grab my hand. Stop being reckless!"  
"You really do act like a mom." Sora sighed, still wearing a smile. He managed to come to a stop on a lower ledge, not that it was very wide, but it was something. "I'm fine, see?"  
"Don't move. I'll be there soon." Riku's words were frenzied and authoritative. He did not want Sora moving even an inch.  
Sora scoffed. "I'm fine! I'm not a kid anymore, so stop treating me like one!"  
Riku's descent slowed. Had he been treating him like a child? He had only wanted him to be safe.  
"I'll stop treating you like a kid when you stop acting like one!" He was surprised at his own words. He really had been thinking of Sora as a child. He quickly sounded apologetic. "Just... I'm coming down. Stay put." Was all he offered, and resumed his earlier pace.  
 _He admitted it!_ Sora was sad to have his fear confirmed.  
"Stupid Riku." _Don't._ "I can get by just fine on my own." _Stop._ "I've had to do it for quite a while now already!" _Why am I saying this?_  
Riku was stunned into silence, his face becoming as cold as a frozen stone, letting no readable reaction surface. His hands betrayed him, however, as they started to visibly shake, causing his hold to become ever so lessened. He had stopped moving, seemingly putting all of his effort to stay as still as possible. It wasn't working.  
Sora regretted the words before they even left his mouth, and yet he had still said them. He couldn't hold them back. He was bitter that Riku had left him, and he couldn't contain it forever.  
 _But why did I have to say it like that?_ He berated himself. He could see Riku's usual collected demeanor change in a way that he hardly ever saw.  
 _Is he... is he afraid?_ That was all Sora could think, his surroundings disappearing from his priorities. "Riku, I-" He was cut off after taking a slight step forward towards him. He shouldn't have forgotten where he was, but he had for one moment and that was all it took. Sora's balance was thrown off, and he overcorrected it. Before he could even realize what was happening, he was falling back.  
As he fell, he had plenty of time to think during the moments he wasn't hitting the ground and stones, tumbling further and further down.  
 _Maybe this wasn't the best idea, after all._ Sora felt like a fool for letting himself get so worked up. He almost laughed. _I really have been acting like a spoiled child._  
"Sora!" Riku's voice tore at his vocal chords as every single worst fear came true right in front of him. Without a moment's hesitation, he let go.  
Sora was having a hard time staying conscious after all of the injuries he had sustained and was sustaining even now. _This hill... is taller than I... thought..._ His sight dimmed and he accepted the oncoming sleep.  
Once he opened his eyes again, he was on the ground. _Is the falling over?_ He moved his eyes a bit, accepting it as truth once he realized the only movement going on was from his dizziness.  
But he felt warm. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. He knew his body wasn't in the best shape right now, but he had expected a lot worse from that fall.  
Sleep threatened to overtake him again, and he was so exhausted that he almost let it, until he remembered.  
"Riku?" His raspy voice managed at least that much. He tried to push himself up, but his arms were in too much pain. _I have to find Riku._ His mind was set on only that, but then he noticed something once his dizziness had subsided: he was still moving up and down ever so slightly.  
"Huh...?" Fighting the fog in his mind and vision, he tried instead to listen.  
He heard only ragged, pained breaths. They weren't his own. Lifting his head what little he could, he found the source of the warmth he felt since awakening.  
Riku's body looked broken underneath him. Every breath he took sounded like it might be his last.  
"Riku!" Sora rolled over, grunting as he fell on the ground beside him. He crawled over to his best friend. "Riku! Riku!" Tears started to spill without constraint. "Wake up! Riku!" He lightly shook his friend's shoulder, hoping it wouldn't hurt too much. _I have to wake him up._  
"Please..." Sora pleaded to him. "Wake up..." It was reduced to nothing but begging now. He sat on his battered knees, hardly feeling the pain as adrenaline pumped through his veins. He tenderly lifted Riku's head and placed it on his thighs, thinking it would give his friend at least a little comfort.  
Riku grunted in pain for being moved, or rather just by being conscious at all. His eyes barely opened and the ragged panting continued. He moved his lips to talk, but nothing but a few raspy sounds escaped his throat.  
"Riku!" Sora was excited but still very much afraid. Riku was in terrible condition. He held him in place with his arms, cradling his head.  
Riku's eyes fluttered, trying to focus. They eventually locked with Sora's and didn't stop.  
"Riku? Riku, can you hear me?" He barely managed to nod in reply, never breaking his gaze with Sora.  
"Riku, why are you here? Why are you hurt? I was the only one who fell." Sora couldn't stop his questions from overflowing. He didn't understand what had happened.  
Soon realizing Riku couldn't answer all of that at the current moment, he instead settled on a different question: "Are you in pain?"  
Riku slowly smiled. In-between his labored breaths, he once again tried to answer, but still no words could be heard.  
Seeing Riku like this was tearing Sora up inside, and he was already more than torn up enough on the outside. "Hold on. I think I can help you a little." He mustered what concentration he could, and suddenly a faint green glow emitted from his hands. The hands were already in contact with Riku's head, so it didn't take long for the effect to start showing.  
His body was bleeding considerably less now, several wounds stitching themselves closed with muscle and skin fiber.  
Likewise his breath became more shallow and calm. He closed his eyes peacefully, given reprimand from most of the pain.  
Sora sighed in relief. "I'm glad I can at least still do this." Still cradling Riku's head, Sora's eyes started to droop. _I guess I used up all of my energy._ He nonchalantly thought to himself.  
Now that Riku wasn't in such a dangerous condition, Sora let himself relax a little and closed his eyes.  
The two stayed like this for a while.

Sora ended up falling asleep from exhaustion and yet managed to keep his general seated position, with the exception of his upper body leaning forward as gravity took its toll. Riku had been awake and hadn't been able to fall asleep no matter how hard he tried. There was no way he could calm himself down this dangerously close to Sora. He kept as still as possible, mostly due to the crippling fear this position gave him, daring not to move. His eyes were strained, locked on the face mere inches above his own. He didn't get a terribly lot of breathing accomplished. If ever there was a trial to test his will power, this would take the cake. Every second felt like it would never end, and Riku fought internally about whether or not to wake Sora up. On one hand, he had only dreamt about such a scenario with Sora, but on the other he didn't know how long he could hold himself back from doing anything that went beyond the line of friendship.

Whatever remnant of pain he felt from shielding Sora during the fall went unnoticed. There was already a sensory overload in place, and he couldn't focus on more than this. There was no longer any way to contain his feelings, so he decided to wake Sora up to keep that from taking place.  
Sora felt a tug at his cheek. Opening his sleepy eyes to find the source of the feeling, he spied a rigid Riku. His mouth was a hard line, holding everything back while his eyes were strained and wide, revealing the fear his lips did not tell of. Sora's foggy mind couldn't link together why his friend had such a face, and all of his alertness would need to be focused instead to his own mouth. Riku had been pulling on the edge of it and hard.  
"Ow! Ow, ow , ow, ow, ow. Riku, whad awe you doin?" Sora tried to speak with a thumb in his mouth and didn't move. Riku's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. He pulled even harder now.  
"Ow! Shtop id! Why-I'm shorry for whadeber I did, okay, sho shtop-" Giving up on Sora moving away of his own accord, Riku had pushed his face back with a bit too much strength. Sora's body threatened to topple backwards, but he was finally a good distance away from Riku's gaze. "Wha-Whoa!" Managing to right himself, most of the fog had cleared from his sleep-addled mind, not that it did anything to alleviate his confusion. It was his turn to furrow his brows in anger.  
"Riku! Why were you-" He paused when the source of his outburst had disappeared from the spot he was sure he still occupied. Then he spied the other boy a fair distance away in his peripheral vision, dusting himself off and standing as well as he could with his remnant injuries.  
He glared at him. "Was that really necessary? You could have just gotten up without doing that to me. You really make no sense sometimes." Sora exhaled deeply, closing his eyes. After a few seconds of silence he tentatively opened them to see whether or not Riku had taken his complaints to heart. His face was... difficult to read. Usually by now he had some comeback to throw Sora off, but none came, so he was left trying to decipher his expression. He hadn't been looking at Sora. Riku seemed alarmed as if he had realized something.  
"Riku? What's wrong?" Sora started to get up until he felt the pain that reminded him of the fall. "Ow, ow, ow. Okay, getting up is not in the cards right now." He noticed Riku walk over to him, no doubt to help. Looking up at his face, he got an inkling of why Riku had been so anxious. His lips were moving but there were no words to accompany them.  
"Riku...?" The worry in his tone was obvious. Riku turned his face away.  
"Can you... still not talk?" A solemn nod was Riku's only response as he kept his gaze on other things. Sora was worried about the other boy, and tried to help in the only way he knew.  
"So that's why there has been a significant decrease in your cocky attitude." Sora prodded at him with a joke to relieve the tension. Riku immediately set his eyes back on Sora and opened his mouth no doubt to voice some heavy objections, but of course none would emerge. Sora laughed a bit.  
"You're a lot more bark than you are bite, huh?" He could see the other boy growl, flaring his canines into view.  
"Um, I mean-Don't bite me!" He pleaded. After a few moments where no biting occurred, he looked up to see his friend's shoulders shake with silent laughter.  
 _At least he isn't growling at me anymore..._


	4. Self-Titled Protector

"So, what should we do?" Sora motioned around them. "About this."  
Riku only looked at him.  
Sora paused, realizing Riku didn't know what he had meant. "About getting out of here. I don't think I can climb with these injuries and neither of us have the energy to use cure."  
Riku looked like he was deep in thought suddenly, but Sora knew what it was about and cut him off immediately.  
"No, you are not going to try to cast it! I used up my mana just getting you to that point, so what good is it if you exhaust yourself for my sake?" Sora thought about putting it another way when Riku's determination still shone brightly.  
"It's... it's like giving back a gift!"  
The taller boy looked dejected suddenly, and Sora knew his words had finally gotten through. "Thank you," he offered him for understanding his wishes. Riku still wasn't in the best of condition himself, but thanks to Sora's earlier healing he was in a better place.  
Sora let himself lie back on the ground, looking up at what little of the sky he could see through the trees.  
"Maybe if I just rest a while we can try to climb by nightfall." He knew it was dangerous even as he said it, but he didn't see any way around it.  
He looked over at Riku. "You lie down, too." A rigorous shaking of the head was his reply.  
Sora frowned and closed his eyes. "You don't like the plan, I know. It's not the best idea to be out here during the night, but what else can we do?" He knew Riku couldn't offer any new ideas.  
He was wrong.  
Sora heard rustling around him and opened his eyes to see Riku trying to scale the steep hill. His heart sank.  
"Are you going to leave me here?" The sadness in his own voice surprised his ears. Wasn't it a good idea to go get help if he himself could not?  
Riku didn't even turn back to face him before shaking his head slowly back and forth. He kept testing his footing for a while longer, and Sora could only look on in curiosity. Once it appeared Riku seemed satisfied, he walked back over to the other boy and offered both hands.  
"Wha-" Sora didn't even get a chance to finish his question before his own hands were within Riku's grasp, and he was pulled forward in a seated position. Sora looked up to try and search his eyes, but Riku looked away before he could find anything inside of them. Sora sighed and reached his now-freed hands out to cup Riku's face. He tried to nudge it slightly in his direction. Riku froze, his blood feeling as though it had likewise gone cold.  
"If you can't talk to me, at least let me see your face." Riku fought a little against the movement when hearing those words, as though they sparked a whole new motivation to never let himself be seen. He was obviously flustered, but of course Sora did not notice it at all.  
"I need to have some way of knowing what's going on in your head." Riku still didn't let himself be moved. Sora tried instead to move his own face to see Riku's, but the silver-haired boy's evasion was quicker. He was suddenly out of Sora's grasp, and instead turned around on his knees. His hands was down at his sides, proffered as support for the other boy. Sora just stared for a while.

He heard an annoyed exhale. _So Riku can still make some sound,_ he thought offhandedly.  
A few long, awkward seconds passed by. Riku looked as though he was faltering in his decision, shaking the slightest bit, but held fast to his position just the same. Sora knew what Riku was trying to do, but if he had no way of knowing the inside of Riku's thoughts, then neither would he know his for the moment. There would be no words to check first or even offer a hint of knowledge. This was the best revenge he could think of.  
Sora moved his center of gravity forward, arms outstretched. His chest collided with his friend's hard back as his arms coiled around firm shoulders. For a moment he thought he felt Riku jolt like a frightened, wild animal about to run from impending danger. He laughed a little, dangling from his shoulders. "Did I surprise you?" He had suffered less bruising on his arms, so he was able to keep a steady grip.

Riku remained silent, of course, as he could offer no biting remark. Instead, he opted to take his hands and support Sora's legs, getting up as quickly and nonchalantly as he could.  
"Whoa!" Sora hadn't expected him to react so quickly. He tightened his hold, locking his hands together in front of Riku's neck.  
 _As expected of Riku,_ he began nodding to himself in praise of his best friend's fortitude. They would always be like this, playing back and forth with one another.  
They were finally on equal footing and Sora loved it. He lightly and playfully bucked his feet against Riku's sides as though he were riding an animal. "Onward!"  
He couldn't tell, but Riku was smiling.

At first Sora had been trying to strain himself in Riku's hold, feeling as though he had to at least try not to let all the effort come from one person. He wasn't exactly rigid from being held, but he wasn't relaxing into it completely either. A while after beginning their wobbly ascent, he relaxed against Riku's back a bit more, saving his strength. That way Riku wouldn't have to support the both of them during the entire climb.  
Some time passed and the two had gotten about twenty feet off the ground. Sora breathed against Riku's neck, resting his head in the crook he found there.  
"You really shouldn't be pushing yourself." He was worried about the older boy. He may have been in better shape of the two now, but Sora couldn't shake the memories from his mind about how hurt Riku had been. He nuzzled gently against his neck. Riku seemed to stop breathing for a few seconds before leaning his head to the side in order to barely touch Sora's. He shook his head back and forth, trying to reassure the other he was fine.  
"Okay," Sora sighed, "but if you get tired, we can switch places." He felt the shoulders beneath him shake.  
He scowled. "I've grown too, ya know! Just because I'm still shorter doesn't mean that I can't carry you." He had no idea whether or not this was actually true and made a note to put it to the test when he could.  
Feeling a placating nod rub against the side of his head put him at ease.  
"Okay, as long as you're in agreement." Sora didn't really realize it, but it had been easier to communicate with Riku this way. He was somehow more honest without his evasive speech. One couldn't hide every movement they made, after all.  
Riku took a break every few minutes, letting himself relax a little against the ledges wide enough for the two of them to perch themselves on the edge of. Pacing oneself was the key to endurance. He never let his body be completely at peace, however, as that would put them in too much danger. 

**Through the green eyes of the self-titled Guardian:**

 _It's strange. Before today I was terrified whenever he touched me. I was scared I would want something more and keep contact for far longer than was normal between friends. But now, after carrying him on my back for the past few hours, it's become something I've had to get used to out of necessity. I have grown accustomed to his nigh-constant touch, and even use it to communicate with him in place of words. I've had to nod against him or shake my head in contact so he was able to feel my answer. Such a thing feels extremely intimate, and my face heats whenever I have to do so, but it's also strangely calming. I thought being in such close proximity to him would be difficult, but it just feels right. Maybe it's okay if I lost my voice for a while. No, wait, what am I even thinking? No matter how safe this feels, it's still bad. My voice will come back eventually, and, no, even before that-_

Riku's thoughts were scattered. He wanted this to continue, but knew it couldn't. He also knew not having access to vocal communication was a double-edged sword. Without it, he could get close to him like this, and yet his words were what shielded he and his feelings the most. He was vulnerable without them.

They would reach the top soon and Sora's legs would be able to handle walking on solid ground. This physically-demanding, yet sweet time was about to end. He tried to give himself solace by thinking it had been nice that such a chance had even happened, but immediately hated himself. Sora had gotten hurt for this to happen, and for him to think that it was worth it for even a second was horrible. He stopped for a moment and slightly nuzzled the skin on Sora's forearm. The other boy was hardly surprised at contact anymore, as this had become their system.  
"What's the matter, Riku?" Sora piped up, sounding a little tired.  
"Do you want to switch?" A shake of the head met his arm.  
"Don't push yourself." A nod against his skin.  
It was sunset now. "Riku?" He was nudged to let him know Riku had heard his call.  
"I felt water." The boy beneath him suddenly went rigid, every hair standing on end. Sora could tell he had taken his observation very seriously.  
"Um, but it's okay! I can see the top from here. We should be there soon, so even if it did start to seriously rain, we should be okay!" Riku didn't relax from his words. He felt the rain now, too. They still had a ways to go, despite being able to see the top from Sora's vantage point on Riku's back.

A gulp. "Riku?" He quickened his pace, no longer taking any time to rest. His hands dug deep into the dirt to secure their stance and his legs kicked.  
 _I shouldn't have rested to begin with. Why didn't I just get him out of here as quickly as possible? My condition doesn't matter!_ He could no longer tell if he had rested in regard to his own condition or to lengthen the amount of time he had Sora this close to him.  
 _I'm such an idiot. No, "idiot" isn't bad enough for me._

The soil had started to loosen under his grasp. His once-regulated breathing came out in pants as he pushed his body further and further past its limit. Sora felt a warm liquid pooling between his fingers. It was distinct from that of the cold, biting rain pricking at him several times a second. He moved one hand just enough to see what the cause was. Confusion only flashed through his head upon seeing the red substance. It didn't make sense. But then Riku's pained breaths became apparent to him and he connected the ever-so-obvious dots. Riku had never healed as much as he had thought. He had kept himself in check by taking his time and restoring his energy on breaks, but now that the rain was pouring on both them and the hill, that regulation had gone out the window. The other boy had been doing everything he could to get them out of there as quickly as possible now.

He hesitantly tightened his grip on the injured boy.  
"Riku! Stop! Your wounds are opening again!" Riku had to stop as a coughing fit took hold of him. Sora immediately got off of his back, and his sudden absence terrified Riku so much that he gripped one of Sora's hands in his own as soon as the sensation of the other left him. It was like he thought Sora would surely fall in he wasn't holding onto him.  
"Riku, Riku!" The coughing intensified as did his grip on Sora's hand. It had hurt, but Sora dealt with it.  
"Riku, I'm okay. Please, let me carry you!" A pause.  
"No, not 'please.' I am going to carry you now. Enough with your stupid pride."  
He led Riku's arm around his shoulder and used his free hand to support Riku's back. He started to climb. "Just hold on!" Riku's intense grip on his hand transferred to Sora's shoulder as he realized he had to depend on his friend.

 _Such an obvious thing, why didn't I realize it sooner..._ He wanted to laugh for trying to do everything himself. That wasn't how any relationship, friendship or otherwise, worked. Both people put in effort and both could depend on the other when they were weak. There was no "hero" by default; just the switching of roles. He had been trying to shoulder everything himself, show Sora how dependable he could be, and in a way show off.  
 _I guess I'm still a kid too._ He wanted to tell Sora of the things he had been thinking, but he knew Sora would just laugh in his face and say, "Of course that's the way things are!"  
 _He really is smarter than me when it comes to matters like this,_ Riku closed his eyes in acceptance, letting his best friend shoulder his burdens just a little.


	5. Your Heart was in the Right Place

**Through the blue eyes of the fool:**  
 _I'm glad he's finally letting me do my share. If only he'd be this way more often, his body and mind wouldn't get so battered. What's the point of being friends if he won't let me protect him a little, too, sometimes? I want to tease him like always, say that he'll get a reward for being so well-behaved, but I know jokes like that will only make him even more adverse to letting me see his weaknesses. I have to protect him in more ways than he probably ever realizes._

Sora's hand reached the top and he immediately pushed Riku forward and up. His friend was halfway on stable land now. He just needed to push him the rest of the way and grab onto the blades of grass himself. They were both soaking wet, slick with mud from the climb, and Riku currently occupied his own, tiny mud puddle bath a few feet away from the edge.  
 _The water really has over-saturated_ _the ground..._ Sora panted, worn out a little behind his friend. He was still pulling himself up. _There! Whew..._ They were safe from the edge now, but he still felt too close to it. If one of them were to roll over it would be terrible news, so Sora knew there was no time to rest just yet. He crawled in front of Riku and grabbed his arms, placing them over his own shoulders.  
 _It's time for a piggyback ride_ , Sora thought in a far-too serious manner to ever be taken seriously with those words.  
He pulled Riku's arms around him closely, not feeling satisfied until he felt his friend's breaths tremor through his own back.  
"Riku, legs," he commanded. He was only met with a forehead bumping into the back of his head.  
"Riku?" Riku began to shake his head ever so slightly. It tickled Sora's neck.  
"Um..." Words wouldn't form for a while at the oddity of feeling this depended on by Riku. He really was vulnerable right now.  
"Uh, um, Riku... Does that mean you're too tired to lift up your legs?" He felt Riku's nose rub against his neck during the exhausted nods he made in reply and stifled a laugh.  
 _This is not the time.  
_ "Okay, hold on as much as you can then, alright? I noticed something while we were walking here. It should get us out of the rain." Another weak nod.  
Sora pressed on, hearing Riku's feet drag against the mud and earth around them. He had to hurry. Riku wasn't doing well. Fighting the pain in his own still-sore muscles, he ran in the direction from which they'd come.

Every ragged breath he felt against his neck renewed his worry all over again. Riku was in so much pain, all because of him again. That was when he spotted it: a treehouse covered in overgrowth like it hadn't been used or fixed up in years. The flora threatened to overtake the man-made organism. He stopped at the foot of the tree upon which it nestled, its weathered ladder still barely visible nailed to the trunk. He had to let go of Riku while he climbed.  
"Hold onto me tightly, okay?" Reluctantly, Sora let go of his hold under Riku's arms that supported him. The arms around his neck tightened. He had to gasp for air; Riku's grip was still strong.  
 _I can handle this much for a little while..._ He climbed and climbed, hoping every second that the old wood would hold their weight and that Riku's arms wouldn't give out just yet. Sora's wet hands slipped several times in his endeavor, but he thankfully never fell.

Finally at the top he pushed his center of gravity forward, making both he and Riku fall against the floorboards, but they were finally out of the rain partially. He quickly pulled Riku the rest of the way inside, closing the door as much as he could. The wind and rain were harsh against it, but the ruins kept most of it out. Though the place was unfurnished, they could finally dry off and rest.  
He laid Riku down by one of the walls, the boy not even so much as opening his eyes.  
"Riku..." Placing one hand on Riku's brow revealed an overbearing, icy cold overtaking him. Riku's eyes fluttered open just a bit.  
"Your forehead is cold..." But he had been warm against him before, hadn't he? Sora couldn't even remember, his thoughts had been on so many things at once. It was possible that he mistook his own body heat in place of Riku's, or simply didn't notice due to the rain.  
"But you shouldn't be sick from being out in the rain..." Mostly mumbling to himself, he was trying to figure out just what was wrong with his friend. He moved his hand to Riku's arm: it was just as cold.  
"Hypothermia...?" Sora didn't like to say it aloud, because it only made it that much more real, but he needed to deal with this. Riku only looked into his eyes weakly as Sora's hand moved back to his temple for comfort.  
"Does the warmth of my hand make you feel any better?" His gaze didn't break regardless of his labored breaths and hazy consciousness. He felt a slight nod, barely even deserving of the name "nodding." It was only the slightest twitch in nerves, but it was enough.  
Sora moved Riku's rain-slick bangs off of his brow and began wiping his hands against the dry wood. He returned his hands to Riku's face and did what he could to smear off the excess water residing there.  
"I have to get you dry, now." His voice was unsure, as he realized what that had meant.  
 _No, no, no, no. I need a blanket. We don't have a blanket. Um, fire. Yeah, fire!_ He searched around the area, noting the dried leaves that had accumulated inside.  
"Perfect." He gathered up an arm full and placed it in the center of the room.  
"Uh... I don't have anything to put it on to prevent the whole place from burning down..." Sora was realizing this was going to be much more difficult than he thought, and he couldn't pretend not to know what he had to do.

"Riku, um...!" He was trying to work up the nerve to say something about it. "You have to, um... clothes..." His bangs fell over his eyes as he wanted to hide, but slowly approached Riku anyway.  
"We have to... get you warm... It'll be no different than when we took baths together! Ahaha!" He was saying it more for his own benefit, but didn't know why he was making such a big deal out of it. Riku still had the same hazy look in his eyes that he did before, offering no reaction to his words.

"Riku, don't stare at me. I have to do this, come on." He began to tug on the bottom of Riku's shirt, pulling it up over the resting boy's abdomen. The further up it went, the more wounds were revealed to Sora's field of view. He bit his lip, and moved Riku's arms straight out above his head. The shirt was almost off and Riku had barely reacted.  
 _He must be tired. All he knows is that this is what I have to do to make him better, I'm sure. He knows I have to do this._ Muffled breathing could be heard as the shirt engulfed its wearer's head. And then it was off. Sora began to wring it a few feet away and the water pooled at his feet. Sora sighed in relief.  
 _At least this will help a little._ He looked back at Riku who had closed his eyes now. The older boy didn't look well at all, his ragged breathing shaking the lacerated skin over his ribcage.

Sora touched one of his pant legs, but quickly realized he couldn't do what needed to be done, so he came up with a make-shift solution. Sora began to roll up each pant leg, wringing them out as much as he could. He'd then systematically wipe the water from Riku's legs each time he did so. They were both now just above his knees.  
 _It's better than before, at least,_ Sora thought. He absentmindedly went to warm Riku with his own body but then realized his clothes were just as wet, and groaned audibly. Quickly throwing off his shirt and rolling up his shorts a bit, he figured it was enough. His heartbeat was thrumming in his ears loudly.  
 _Why...?_ Questions and worries pricked the back of his mind, but he needed to help Riku now. He took his place on Riku's right side a few feet above his head so that he would be the taller one. Draping an arm around his shoulder gave Riku something to rest his head on while simultaneously giving Sora a way to pull him close. The silver head of hair ended up cradled against Sora's chest as the two were now on their sides facing one another. He spread his fingers across Riku's back, trying to use friction to warm his skin from the kneading.

Sora tried to block out what was happening, feeling he needed to be calm, and closed his eyes. Doing that only made him that much more aware of his best friend's close proximity to him.  
A frown. _Why is this bothering me so much?_ It didn't make sense.  
He could feel Riku's body heat slowly returning from his efforts and that revelation shook him free of the confusing thoughts he had found himself surrounded by. It hadn't been hypothermia after all. His grip tightened slightly for a moment, unconsciously using that as a means to share with Riku his relief. The raspy gasps had quieted into sleeping breaths over the course of Sora's actions, and he felt better knowing that the other boy was asleep _.  
He can rest... and also, he won't know how embarrassing this is._ Sora exhaled in relief and leaned his head forward, resting his chin on Riku's forehead. In all the hell that had occurred that day, what was happening now was peaceful, warm and above all else, felt safe. He surrendered himself to the land of dreams to accompany the battered boy in his arms.  
"Sweet dreams, Riku."

He woke up an unknown amount of time later. It hadn't been his idea. Sora's sleep-covered eyes opened as he tried to make sense of what had woken him. His dulled senses looked over the situation. He was keeping Riku warm after his body had lost too much heat. Their shirts were off in order to rid themselves of at least some of the water clinging to their bodies. He was holding Riku in his arms. Riku was holding him in his.  
Nothing strange. _Wait..._  
Sora blinked and looked at Riku's arms, slowly surveying them to make sure they were really connected to their owner. He froze. This hadn't been the way things were before he had fallen asleep. At some point while he had been asleep, Riku had started to hold him. Sora had been holding him in order to warm the other boy up, for survival's sake, but there was no reason for Riku's arms to be returning the favor.

Sora's mind tried to make sense of the dilemma he found himself in. Riku was holding onto him tightly, in a way that made him feel a bit awkward.  
 _Maybe he... he just felt the hug, so he returned it in his sleep? Yeah! He must be hugging a girl he likes in his dream, or something..._ Sora had decided that is what he would believe.  
"Jeez... I'm not them." A forced smile played across his features as he lightly patted Riku's back. He paused. "I'm sorry." He didn't know why he was apologizing for not being the person he was sure Riku had been imagining. What he did know, however, is that he had been sad ever since he thought Riku had someone else in mind. It felt wrong to be receiving the affection reserved for someone else. He didn't want to be a replacement.  
 _It's almost like I... Haha, I must still be half asleep. What am I even thinking?_ He wrote it off as soon as it appeared in his head. It wasn't though it had been the first time such a thought had crossed his mind, but he always dismissed it. They were best friends. It's how things had always been. That's the way things would always be.  
 _Right...?_

 _-  
_ Author's note: I wrote this around the time I wrote the rest, but I never uploaded it because I didn't want to make them half-naked. However, that's the most sane thing to do in that situation, and if Sora really suspected hypothermia, all of the clothes should have come off. However, I didn't really want to do that so... Don't actually follow the advice of this story if you ever find yourself in that situation.


End file.
